As You Wish
by hoc-et-quod
Summary: A retelling of "The Princess Bride" starring Loki and Sigyn.
1. Prologue

**Title: **As You Wish

**Characters: **The whole kit and caboodle

**Prompt:** The Princess bride with Loki and Sigyn :D

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

Nick Fury was sick.

This was something that rarely happened but when it did, any and all SHIELD agents who had the luxury stayed well away from him. For while Fury was a highly respected leader and father to his men and women, he turned into a complete child when he was ill.

Of course, nobody told him that as they were quite attached to their jobs (and their extremities). They didn't even whisper it behind his back and only a few very brave souls would dare even exchange knowing glances.

There was only one man who could handle Fury in this state: the unflappable Phil Coulson.

"How are we today, Sir?" he asked as he sat down beside Fury's bed.

"Horrible!" Fury growled back. "My head hurts. My throat hurts. My muscles hurt and the damned chef can't a decent bowl of soup to save his life!"

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Sir," Coulson replied.

Fury rolled his eyes and then focused on the book in Coulson's hand. "What is that?"

Coulson shrugged. "_The Princess _Bride by S. Morgenstern. My grandfather used to read it to me when I was sick."

"It sounds like a stupid romance," Fury sneered.

There was a short pause.

"Would you like me to read it to you, Sir?"

"Well, if you just going to sit there!"


	2. Chapters 1 through 6

**Chapter One – The Bride**

Sigyn was raised in a small farm in Asgard.

"_Wait, wait, wait," Fury interrupted. "Asgard? That place that Thor says he comes from?"_

_Coulson reread the passage. "Indeed it is, Sir."_

Her favorite past times were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Loki...

"_LOKI! Thor's crazy brother?"_

"_He probably just liked the name, Sir."_

His name was Loki, but she never called him that. There was nothing Sigyn enjoyed more than ordering him around.

"Farm Boy!" she would call him. "Brush down my horse. I had better not find a tangle in her hair"

"As you wish," Loki said.

That was all Loki ever said to Sigyn. "As you wish." Fetch this, Farm Boy. "As you wish." Get this, Farm Boy. "As you wish." Fill the buckets and muck out the stables. "As you wish."

One day, while ordering the farm boy around, she was amazed to realized that whenever Loki said "As you wish." what he really meant was. "I love you." Even more amazing was the realization that she loved him, as well.

They were happy for a while, until Loki announced that he was going to leave the farm.

"I go to make my fortune," he told Sigyn. "When I return, I will be a rich man and build you a large house and then we shall marry."

"I will wait for you," Sigyn promised.

With a kiss they parted ways.

But several weeks later, a messenger came to the farm with dire news. The ship Loki had been on was attacked by the Dread Pirate Fandral. There were no survivors. Sigyn mourned for her lost love and vowed to never love another man.

Five years past and with every year Sigyn grew even more beautiful. Word of Sigyn's beauty reached the ears of Prince Algrim of Svartalfheim. He sent his vizir, Count Surtur, to retrieve Sigyn so that she may become his bride.

But Sigyn refused for she wanted no other than her beloved Loki.

"Perhaps I had not made myself clear, my dear," Counter Surtur said, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. "If you do not accompany me willingly, I will burn down your family's farm with your family in it and take you anyway."

So, Sigyn found herself traveling to Svartalfheim to meet Prince Algrim.

* * *

><p>"<em>How horrible for Sigyn."<em>

"_Widow? What are you doing here?"_

"_I came in to check on you, Sir," Natasha replied. "But I didn't want to interrupt Coulson's story."_

"_If I'm needed elsewhere..." Coulson began._

"_Not at all," Natasha said, making herself comfortable at the foot of Fury's bed. "Go on."_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two – The Kidnappers<strong>

Sigyn agreed to marry Prince Algrim, but told him very plainly that she would never love him. The prince agreed and left Sigyn to prepare for the wedding. But her heart was not in it so she left her new servants to handle the matter and rode off into the woods to think. As she wandered about the trees, she was set upon by a trio of travelers – two women, one fair and one dark, and a large man.

"Greetings, milady," the fair-haired woman said. "We are lost, is there a village nearby."

"The nearest town is miles away," Sigyn told them.

"Excellent," the woman replied. "Then nobody will hear you scream for help."

They were upon her instantly and Sigyn was unable to fight them all. They tied her up and the fair-haired woman tore up some fabric and threw it on the ground.

"There," she said. "Fabric from the uniform of the Alfheim guards."

The leader of the kidnappers was a beautiful woman named Lorelei. She was vain and liked to think that she was the brains of the group. The brawn was a large man named Thor. Thor was a boisterous man and many thought him nothing but muscle. But, he possessed a surprisingly sharp mind. The last member of the group was also a woman. A brave warrior woman named Sif.

They tied Sigyn up and took her down to the docks where a boat was waiting. They quickly set sail.

"Why did you drop that fabric?" Thor asked Lorelei.

"That will give Algrim evidence to accuse Alfheim, Svartalfheim sworn enemy, of stealing away his bride. When they find her body within the borders of Alfheim, he will have all the reason he needs to invade."

"You never said anything about killing her!" Thor said, suddenly alarmed.

"Thor, dear, I hired you to help start a war. What did you expect?"

"I just don't think it's right to murder an innocent girl."

"I didn't hire you to think," Lorelei said. "I hired you to fight, lift heavy things and look pretty for me."

"I agree with Thor," Sif said.

Lorelei rolled her eyes. "Of course, you do."

"Ladies, ladies," Thor interrupted. "There is a boat back there. I noticed it shortly after we set sail. It has kept up with us the entire way. Exactly the same distance. No nearer, no further. There is but one person in the boat. A man dressed entirely in black with a mask over his eyes."

Sigyn decided to take a risk with the person following them, hoping that whoever he was he would rescue her. She leapt to her feet and made a dash for the side of the boat, intent on diving into the water. But she didn't make it that far. Thor was very quick for his size and easily intercepted her.

"You don't want to do that, Lady," he said politely. "These waters are infested with sharks."

He allowed her to take a look in the water to see the numerous sharks swimming around the boat.

"No worries," Lorelei said. "He's probably just a fisherman. But if he is following us, once we reach the Cliffs of Insanity, I'll use my magic to easily scale those cliffs and leave our pursuer behind."

They made it to the cliffs and, just as Lorelei had said, they easily made it to the top with the assistance of her magic. But as the looked down they were shocked to see the mysterious man in black climbing up the dangerous cliff.

"Sif, take care of him," Lorelei ordered. "Thor and I will head inland with Sigyn." Thor gave Sif a brief bow before tossing Sigyn over his shoulder and heading off after Lorelei.

* * *

><p>"<em>Thor? Sif? Is this guy for real?" Clint commented.<em>

"_Obviously, Morgenstern was a fan of Norse Mythology," Coulson replied._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three – The Swordswoman<strong>

Sif watched the man in black climb for a while just waiting for him to fall. When he didn't she began shouting down taunts. But after a while, she was so impressed that she began calling out words of encouragement.

"You're doing very well," she told the man.

"Thank you," the man replied.

"Though, do you suppose you could speed up a bit so I can go catch up with my companions?"

"If you're in such a hurry, maybe you could throw me a rope or lower a branch."

"Of course," Sif said. "I have a some rope up here. But aren't you afraid that I'll trick you and kill you?"

"That would be a problem," the man replied.

"I promise not to kill you until you reach the top."

"That's very reassuring but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait."

"I give you my word as an Aesir."

"Sorry, I've known too many Aesir."

"I swear on the soul of my father, Tyr Hymirson," Sif said solemnly.

Without hesitation, the man in black replied, "Throw me the rope."

Sif did so and helped The man in black up the rest of the way. When he reached to top, the man began to draw his sword. But Sif saw that he was tired from his climb and told him to rest until he was refreshed for she wanted a fair fight.

"Swordsman," she said as they rested on the rocks. "I don't suppose you have six finger on your right hand."

The man in black held up said hand to reveal only five. "That is a rather peculiar question," he said. "Why are you looking for a man with six fingers on his right hand?"

Sif frowned a bit, wondering if she should tell the man her reasons. He seemed an honorable fellow so she decided to tell her tale. She told him of her father Tyr who was a great blacksmith and the man with six fingers who requested a sword from him. The sword was a masterpiece, but the man refused to pay the agreed price. Her father refused to sell the sword and the man cut him down. Sif, though just a girl of ten, picked up the fallen sword and attacked the man who had slain her father. But he easily defeated her. He let her live and keep the sword, but scarred her face.

"Since then, I've dedicated myself to learning the art of the sword and tracking down the man who killed my father. When I find him, I will tell him 'Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Sif sighed. "But it's been twenty long years and I have yet to find him. I fear I'm loosing my confidence. I've been forced to work for Lorelei just to get by."

"I do hope you find him somebody," The man in black said.

He felt sorry for Sif, but he was on a mission. He rose to his feet and the fight began. It was a fierce battle, but soon the man gained the upper hand.

"You are a wonderful fighter," Sif said. "Better than me, in fact."

"Then why are you smiling?" asked the man.

"I know something you don't," she relied.

"And that is?"

"I am not left handed!" Sif switched her sword over to her right hand and began easily driving the back. It continued that way for a while until Sif noticed the smile on the man in black's face.

"I'm afraid I have a confession," he said.

"And that is?"

"I am not left handed, either!"

Almost immediately, Sif found herself at the defensive. Back and back she went, until with a flick of his wrist, the man disarmed Sif. She was devastated, but she accepted her defeat with grace. She sank to her knees and waited bravely for the killing blow. Her one regret was that she would never be able to avenge her father.

"I would know the name of the man who defeated me before I die," Sif said.

"I am no one of consequence. However, I cannot bring myself to kill such an skilled artist as yourself. Besides, you still have to avenge your father." he told Sif. "But I cannot have you following me.

He struck Sif sharply on the back of the head and left her unconscious on the ground as he continued his pursuit.

"Inconceivable!" Lorelei exclaimed as she looked into her crystal ball. She had been watching Sif's confrontation with the man in black. "Sif lost!"

"Nay!" Thor exclaimed. "Does she still live?"

"Yes," Lorelei said, with more than a little bitterness. "He didn't kill her, but she'll be of no use." She stopped suddenly. "You will have to kill him, Thor. I can't have him ruining my plan."

Thor gently lowered Sigyn down and Lorelei roughly grabbed her hands and began dragging her down the trail.

Thor settled in to wait for the man in black.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four – The Warrior<strong>

The man in black was making very good time and it was not long before he was within Thor's throwing range. He hefted a large stone and threw it just left of the man's head. It hit a boulder with such force that it disintegrated. The man froze and Thor stepped out from behind the boulder he was waiting behind, another large stone in his hand.

"That was a warning," Thor said. "I could have easily killed you."

The man nodded. "So I am warned. Now what?"

"What of Sif?" Thor demanded.

"She was quite alive when I left her. What of the princess, Sigyn?"

"Same," Thor replied.

They stood in silence for awhile.

"Well, this was a pleasant conversation," the man in black said after a while. "But I really must be off."

"I understand," Thor replied. "However, I'm afraid I cannot let you pass."

"Ah, that is a problem. How do you propose we settle this?"

Thor looked down at the stone in his hand and then tossed it back over his shoulder. "We fight hand to hand. No weapons and no tricks."

The man in black considered this for a while and then removed his sword. "Very well, then."

He charged at Thor and found, much to his dismay, that the large man didn't even budge. He tried several times, from several different angles with the same result. He thought he managed to move Thor at one point, but the large man was just shifting his weight a bit. The man in black finally gave up and jumped back.

"I feel you are toying with me," he told Thor.

"I just wanted to give you a chance," Thor said as he charged at the man. Though Thor was quick for a man his size, the man in black was much quicker and able to easily avoid Thor's swings.

"What are you hiding under your mask," Thor wondered aloud as he made another, failed, attempt to grab the man.

"My face," the man replied honestly, as he manged to get behind Thor and jump up on a boulder.

"But why?" Thor asked, as the Man jumped on his back and wrapped a black-clad arm around his throat. Thor decided to leave the wondering for later and began trying to dislodge the man. But no matter how hard he swung around or backed into a large boulder, the man held firm. Finally, Thor collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

The man in black quickly made sure he had not killed Thor, for he found the large man to be fair and noble. He wished Thor pleasant dreams and quickly headed after Lorelei and Sigyn.

"Inconcievable!" Lorelei cried again. She put away her crystal ball and came to an abrupt halt. "It looks like I'll have to take care of our little friend myself!"

* * *

><p>"<em>Thor and Sif both seem like honorable characters," Steve said. "I hope they manage to turn their life around."<em>

"_We'll never find out if people keep interrupting," Fury snapped._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five – The Seductress<strong>

Lorelei quickly prepared for the mysterious man. She had summoned a short table with a white table cloth, a vase of roses and some wine.

"What, exactly, are you trying to do?" Sigyn couldn't help but ask.

"He's a man, what do you think?" Lorelei replied, adjusting her clothing so that she was just shy of improper. "I might have some use for him and if not..." she slipped a knife into the band around her thigh.

She blindfolded Sigyn and sat at the ground before the table. It wasn't long before the man came dashing over the rise. He slowed to a stop several yards away from her.

"Well, now," she said with a sultry voice. "It appears to be down to you and me."

"So it seems," said the man, slowly approaching.

"You're probably tired after all that fighting and running. Please," she motioned to the spot opposite of her. "Have a seat and refresh yourself."

The man nodded slowly then sat down across from her. Lorelei leaned over to pour some wine into his goblet, giving him a good view of her cleavage, should he had cared to look. But, to Lorelei's annoyance, the man's eyes kept flickering to Sigyn. He also didn't move to drink the wine.

"It's not poisoned, I assure you," she said, taking his goblet. "Look, I'll take the first drink." She sipped the wine and slowly licked her lips. "Delicious," she purred.

"Is there a point to this?" the man asked. "If not, I would like to take the princess and leave now."

Lorelei pouted. "How mean," she said. "I merely wished to talk to you. For, you see, unlike those other two, I prefer to talk out my differences."

"Then talk," the man said.

"You are obviously very strong," Lorelei said. "And very skilled. I too am very skilled, but not in physical combat." She waved her hands across the table and trays filled with fruit, nuts, cheeses and breads appeared before them.

"A sorceress," the man said.

"Yes, and much more dangerous than a single-minded swordswoman and a mindless brute," Lorelei replied. She leaned in close again. "I have a proposal for you, but first, take off your mask."

"I think not. I'm quite fond of it."

Lorelei's pretty face scrunched up a bit in annoyance but quickly smoothed as a sly smile appeared on her face. Her eyes traveled up and down his body. "Very well, keep the mask."

"Thank you, and I'll also be taking the princess," the man replied.

"Forget the princess," Lorelei said, deciding to come to the point. "She's as good as dead, anyway. Come work for me! Think about it. Just the two of us traveling together, making our fortunes."

"As appealing as that sounds," the man replied (though the tone of his voice suggested that it didn't sound appealing at all). "I'm afraid I have a mission I must see through to the end."

Lorelei gave a dramatic sigh. "Very well. I was hoping to avoid a fight but if you assist." She raised her goblet. "But first a toast. After all, we are civilized people."

The man nodded and also raised his goblet.

"To the victor," Lorelei said.

"To the victor," the man repeated.

They both drank. Lorelei suddenly broke out into a peal of laughter.

"Oh, you foolish man," she said. "You've fallen into my trap. The wine wasn't poisoned but it was filled with love potion so you would fall in love with the first person you see. Namely, me." She threw her head back to laugh again and kept going back as she fell over and laid still in the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six – The Dread Pirate<strong>

"What did you do to her?" Sigyn demanded when the man removed her blindfold.

"I merely slipped her a potion of my own," the man replied. "She'll sleep for a while and when she wakes up she'll find that her magic is no longer responsive so she will no longer be a threat."

"And what of the love potion?"

"I had a magic rock in my mouth that nullified the effects of any potion. Now if that is enough with the questions, we still have a ways to go and we're are still being pursued."

"Who are you?" Sigyn demanded.

"Somebody not to be trifled with. Remember that."

Sigyn followed the man for she had no other choice as she had no knowledge of Alfheim. She just hoped that the man knew where he was going and would not hurt her. But they walked without resting and she soon grew tired. Though she was used to hard work on the farm, she was not used to traveling for so long. The man noticed and he stopped.

"Take a minute to catch your breath."

"Please, release me," Sigyn said. "You will be greatly rewarded if you return me safely. I will tell them you had no hand in my kidnapping."

"That would be nice seeing as I did not."

"You are kidnapping me now," Sigyn retorted.

The man smirked and gave a wide sweep with his arm. "You are free to go."

"Horrid man," Sigyn spat out. "Be that way. Prince Algrim will find us. He is the greatest hunter in all the Nine Realms."

"Ah, so you believed your beloved prince will save you."

"I do not love him," Sigyn muttered.

"Surely, I heard wrong," the man said. "Did you just admit to not loving the man you are to marry?"

"He is aware and is satisfied with the arrangement," Sigyn said.

"You nobles are curious creatures, marrying without love."

"What would a brute like you know about love!" Sigyn said angrily, for she had finally realized who this man was. "I would have been happily married to the man I truly loved were it not for you, Dread Pirate Fandral!"

Fandral gave a elegant bow. "At your service. Though, I don't know why you're blaming me for your inability to keep a man."

Sigyn slapped him. "How dare you! You, who murdered the only man I could ever love!"

"Oh, did I?" Fandral said. "I've killed so many, you can't possibly expect me to remember every one."

Sigyn tried to slap Fandral again, but he caught her wrist. "I told you before, I am not to be trifled with."

With an angry cry, Sigyn wrenched her wrist out of Fandral's grasp. "Go! Leave me here!"

"You would not survive alone in the wilds," Fandral said.

"I don't care! Just go away and die!"

Fandral frowned and stiffened at this. "As you wish," he said, spinning on his heels.

Sigyn let out a gasped and reached for Fandral. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face her. Hesitantly, she reached for the mask. He didn't resist when she pulled it of.

"Oh, my sweet Loki," she said. Then she kissed him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Pfffft! <em>Sweet_ Loki?" Tony commented._

"_Morgenstern probably never had the misfortune to meet the guy," Coulson responded._


	3. Chapters 7 through 11

**Chapter Seven– The Farm Boy**

There were so many questions Sigyn had for Loki, but they soon heard the sounds of pursuit.

"Your fiancee is closing in," Loki said.

Sigyn shuddered. "Oh, don't remind me!"

"Do you wish to go back to him?"

"How could you even ask that? I wish only to be with you."

Loki smiled brightly at that and took her hand. "Come! We'll lose them in the Fire Swamp. From there we can head to _The Revenge_, Fandral's ship – my ship."

"But how is that possible?" Sigyn asked as they ran into the swamp. "The Dread Pirate Fandral has been marauding for decades. You left me five years ago."

"That's an interesting story," Loki replied as he pulled Sigyn away from a fire spout (from which the Fire Swamp got its name). "As you obviously heard, the ship I was on was indeed set upon by Dread Pirate Fandral. He killed everybody and was about to kill me, but I told him 'Please, I must live.' Well, evidently nobody had ever told him 'Please' before so that intrigued him. He asked me why I wanted to live and I told him of my beloved," Loki smiled at Sigyn at that point and Sigyn returned the smile. "Well, that intrigued him so...Ah! Don't step there!" Loki blocked Sigyn's path as she was about to step in a sandy area.

"What is it?"

"Lightning sand. It will pull you in even quicker than quick sand. Avoid any sand if possible."

Sigyn nodded and pulled closer to Loki.

"Now, where was I?"

"Fandral was intrigued," Sigyn supplied.

"Ah, yes. Well, instead of killing me straight out, he threw me in the brig. The next day he came down to see me and said, 'I've come to a decision. You will become my valet if you'd like to try. Though, I'll probably change my mind and kill you in the morning.' Well, I figured that a slim chance was better than none so I immediately agreed. For three years he would bid me a good night in that manner. 'Good night, Loki. You did a good job job, though I'll probably kill you in the morning.'"

"How horrid!" Sigyn exclaimed.

"You would think, but I learned so much during those three years. Fighting, fencing, sorcery and whatever else I could learn. Fandral and I even became friends. Then it happened."

"What happened?"

"Fandral called me into his quarters and told me a most peculiar tale. 'I am not the real Dread Pirate Fandral. My real name is Balder. I inherited it from the previous Fandral. He wasn't the real Fandral, either. His name was Volstagg and the Fandral before him was really named Hogan. The real Fandral has long-since been retired and living in luxury in Asgard. Now, I am ready to retire as well and have chosen you as my successor.' He explained that the name was important for inspiring fear in the hearts of men. Nobody would fear the Dread Pirate Loki. So, we took on a whole new crew and he started referring to me as Fandral. Once he felt the crew was convinced, he left and I have been Fandral ever since. But, now that I have found you, I intend to retire and pass the name to somebody else."

"That will be splendid if we get out of this swamp alive," Sigyn said as she dodged yet another fire spout.

"Oh, we'll make it out, don't worry," Loki replied. "The fire spouts make a popping noise before they erupt so we can avoid those and we just be careful not to step in any sand."

"What about the ROUS's?"

"Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't believe they exist."

At that moment, an ROUS leapt onto Loki and knocked him to the ground. Loki's sword flew out of his hand. Sigyn picked up the sword, ran over to them and kicked at the ROUS with all her might. It flew off and Loki leapt to his feet, taking the sword from Sigyn. But it was unnecessary as the ROUS had the misfortune of landing directly on a fire spout.

Sigyn and Loki clung to each other for a brief moment and then moved quickly to escape the swamp.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight– The Prince<strong>

It was with great relief that Sigyn and Loki emerged from the Fire Swamp. That relief was short lived, however, as they were greeted with Prince Algrim, Count Surtur and the Svartalfheim royal guards.

"Surrender, and I may show mercy on you for part in the kidnapping of Princess Sigyn," Algrim said.

"You don't understand," Sigyn said. "He rescued me from the kidnappers."

"In order to ransom you again," the Count accused.

"No!" Sigyn protested.

"Arrest him!" Algrim commanded.

"You will never take me alive!" Loki declared.

"Not a problem," Algrim retorted.

Loki readied his sword but Sigyn stepped between him and Algrim.

"I will return to you freely if you promise not to hurt him?" Sigyn asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Escort him to safely his ship, _The Revenge_," Sigyn continued. "And let him sail away safety."

"Sigyn!"

"My love, I just found you. I could not bear to lose you again." She turned back to Algrim. "Do I have your word?"

Algrim nodded. "Of course, my dear."

Sigyn swung up behind Algrim on his horse. "Forgive me, Loki."

Algrim nodded at Surtur and rode off with Sigyn and half of the guards. The rest of the guards surrounded Loki. As soon as Algrim and Sigyn were out of earshot. He told the guards. "Take him to the Pit of Despair."

A guard struck Loki on the back of he head. Before he lost consciousness, he noticed an extra digit on Surtur's right hand.

Meanwhile, Prince Algrim returned his bride-to-be to the castle to continue preparations for the wedding which was to be in ten days.

But Sigyn fell into a deep depression. Finally she could take it no longer and went to see the prince.

"Forgive me, Prince Algrim. But now that I know my beloved still lives I cannot marry you."

Algrim nodded in sympathy. "Of course, my dear. I would not dream of causing you grief." He turned to Surtur. "The pirate was seen safely to his ship?"

Surtur nodded.

"Then, we shall alert him. But be warned, my dear, pirates are not known for their stability or fidelity."

"My Loki is not like that," Sigyn said angrily.

"I did not mean to offend you, my dear," Algrim said. "Merely preparing you for one possibility. Go and write four letters and I shall send them in all four directions in search of your pirate. If he returns, then you shall sail away with my blessing. But if not, I do hope you consider marriage to me. I believe you would be a fine queen."

"Thank you, my prince," Sigyn said with an elegant curtsey. "For you assistance and for your offer." She left quickly to write the letters.

"It was rather fortunate that the pirate was there to rescue the princess," Surtur commented.

"Indeed," Algrim said. "The people are quite taken with her kindness and beauty. When she is murdered by Alfheim on our wedding night, there will be an even greater outrage than if she was murdered on our engagement day as originally planned. We shall have ample reason to declare war on Alfheim."

Surtur smiled sinisterly. "My machine is ready. I believe he would be the perfect test subject."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine– The Pit of Despair<strong>

Loki had been taken to the to The Pit of Despair, a secret dungeon full of horrible torture devices. Count Surtur had designed all of them himself. He took great pleasure at the torment of the prisoners. Nobody who went into The Pit was ever heard from again.

Now, Surtur was preparing his masterpiece. It had taken him a long time to create it. It was a device designed to literally suck the life out of a man. Right now he was attaching Loki to the device. He chained Loki to a slab and began attaching small cups to his bare torso.

"Don't bother trying to escape," Surtur said as Loki struggled against his bonds. "The chains are strong and thick. Oh, and while we're at it, don't hope to get rescued. This is a secret location known only the the prince and myself. Now then, shall we begin."

Surtur began cranking the wheel of the machine, slowly at first. The hurt a great deal, but Loki refused to make a sound. He would not give Surtur the satisfaction.

Gradually, Surtur began to speed up.

This went on for several days and yet Loki refused to be broken. For her part, Sigyn refused lose hope that her beloved would soon return to her. One morning she went to Algrim's study to ask if there had been any word from Loki.

Algrim looked at her sadly as he rose from his desk. "One of the ships did find _The Revenge._"

"That's wonderful," Sigyn said. "When will Loki be docking?"

Algrim sighed dramatically. "I'm afraid, my dear, that he refused to return."

"What?" cried Sigyn. "That's impossible."

"I warned you, my dear. A pirate's heart belongs to the sea."

"You lie!" Sigyn said. "Loki would never refuse me!"

"You are a foolish girl," Algrim said.

"Foolish, yes," Sigyn agreed. "For not seeing you for what you were right away. A self-centered, power-mad, coward!"

Algrim became very angry. "Do not push me," he warned.

"I am not afraid of you," Sigyn said. "Loki will come for me and then we will leave this place." She spun around and walked out the door without waiting to be dismissed.

Algrim went immediately to The Pit of Despair. Surtur had just finished another session with Loki.

"Have you broken him?" Algrim asked.

"No," Surtur replied. "He refuses to yield."

"Obviously you're not trying hard enough." Algrim gripped the crank and began turning it as quickly as he could.

"Wait, stop!" Surtur said, though, not for any consideration of the prisoner. Surtur considered torture an art form to be undertaken with great care and finesse. Not what the prince was doing right now. But it proved to be effected. Finally, after so many days, Loki screamed and screamed.

Then he was silent.

"You killed him," Surtur said.

"Good. Dispose of the body." Algrim quickly left.

Surtur was not pleased. He was hoping to get a least another week out of Loki. He dragged Loki deep into the forest and left him there.

That was where Thor found him.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten– The Enchantress<strong>

After Sif woke up from her fight with The man in black, she immediately headed off after him and her partners. She found Thor and together they found Lorelei. When they learned that Lorelei could no longer use her magic, they realized they were outmatched and decided to just give up.

Sif hated giving up and she had been doing that far too often these days. She and Thor followed Lorelei back to her sister's home in the forest of Svartalfheim, for they had no better options. Lorelei's sister was an Enchantress named Amora and she lived alone except for her guard, Heimdall. She agreed to let them stay as long as the made themselves useful. Lorelei spent most of her time sulking, but Thor and Sif helped around the house as much as they could as well as taking turns hunting.

That was why Thor was in the forest when he found Loki. He immediately recognized the black-clad man as the one who had so thoroughly defeated the three of them. Thor had a great deal of respect for him and thought it an atrocity that he be left to rot in the forest. So Thor picked the man up and headed back to the house to give him a proper burial.

It was a great surprise to Thor when, upon arriving back at the house, Heimdall declared. "His name is Loki and he is not dead."

"Can that be true?" Sif asked. The man looked quite dead to her.

"Heimdall is never wrong," Amora said. "Bring him in."

"Oh!" Lorelei cried. "That is the terrible man who sealed my magic!"

Amora smirked. "All the more reason for me to help him." She gave him a quick examination and stepped back thoughtfully. "As Heimdall said, he is not dead . Only mostly dead and mostly dead means still partially alive and I can heal him."

Thor and Sif waited anxiously as Amora began mixing together an elixir. Lorelei sulked in the corner. Finally Amora finished and gently poured the liquid down Loki's throat.

"There," she said.

"How long does it take to work?" Sif asked.

Loki suddenly gasped. "Sigyn! My love!"

"That was quick," Thor said.

"Sigyn?" Amora repeated. "Prince Algrim's betrothed?"

Loki looked over to Thor and Sif. "Oh, you two. Where am I?" He tried to move but wasn't very successful.

"You are in my home. I bought you back from the brink of death," Amora said. "Now you must rest. The elixir will take some time to work."

"He does not have time," Heimdall said gravely. "His love, Princess Sigyn, will be wed to Algrim in the morning. Then he will have her slain to begin a war with Alfheim. That was plan from the beginning when Sigyn was picked to be his bride by Count Surtur, the six-fingered man."

"The six-fingered man!" Sif gasped out. She began pulling Loki off the table.

"Wait!" Amora said. "He needs more time."

"We don't have time," Loki responded. "I must save Sigyn."

"And I must avenge my father," Sif added.

"And I shall help," Thor said as he easily pulled Loki to his feet.

Amora sighed. "I can see trying to dissuade you will be pointless so take this." She handed Thor a bundle. "It may help."

"Thank you, my lady," Loki said doing his best to bow while hanging off of Thor. "How can I ever repay you?"

"You humiliated my annoying little sister," Amora said. "I'd say we're even. Have fun storming the castle!"

* * *

><p><em>"Oh, your reading this story?" Thor said.<em>

_ "Hush, we're finally getting to some action," Fury replied._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven– The Raid<strong>

By the time they reached the castle, Loki had regained most of the feeling in his body, but he was still very weak. Currently, he, Thor and Sif were hiding behind a hedge near the castle gates.

"It's no good," Sif said, peeking over. "There are too many guards. If Loki were strong enough, we might have a chance."

"Thor, what did The Enchantress give you?" Loki asked. "Maybe it can help us."

Thor pulled out the bundled and unwrapped it. Inside was a large hammer.

"Well, a weapon is good," Sif commented.

But this was no mere weapon. When he held it, Thor could feel the raw power infused into the hammer. He smiled at the other two. "Leave the guards to me."

"Are you sure," Sif asked, touching Thor's arm.

Thor covered her hand with his larger one and gave it a squeeze. "I will be fine. Go. Avenge your father and return to me."

With that he charged out from behind the hedge with a fierce battle cry. The guards rushed him immediately, but Thor swung his mighty hammer, felling the first wave with a single stroke. Sif and Loki couldn't help but pause for a moment in awe of Thor's power. But they had little time so, while the guards were distracted, they were able to easily enter the castle.

They quickly moved through the halls of the castle, looking for their targets. Most of the guards ignored them as they ran to the front gate, but they managed to corner one and learned the location of Princess Sigyn. They were rushing to her chambers when they suddenly came face to face with Count Surtur.

"You!" he cried, looking at Loki.

"You!" Sif cried, looking at his hand.

"Go on," Loki said to Sif. "I'll be fine."

Sif nodded at Loki and stepped forward, her sword raised.

"Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

Surtur quickly turned on his heels and ran back up the stairs with Sif in close pursuit. She chased him to a large room where he spun around to face her. They fought fiercely. But eventually Surtur was able to get past Sif's defenses and delivered a deep stab to her side.

"NO!" Sif cried as she pressed her hand against her wound. "Father, I've failed you." She backed away, leaning heavily against the wall.

"I remember you," Surtur said. "You're the sword smith's brat? Have you been chasing me all your life? How pathetic! Though," his gaze turned into a leer. "If I'd known you'd have grown into such a lovely woman, I would have taken you with me."

A deep rage surged through Sif as she pushed away from the wall.

"Hello," she said. "My name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

"We've already been through thi-" Surtur was cut off when Sif attacked.

"Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

Another attack.

"Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

And another.

"Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

"Stop saying that!" Surtur cried.

Sif smiled. "Hello, my name is Sif Tyrdotter. You killed my father, prepare to die."

With a flick of her wrist, Surtur's sword went flying out of his six-fingered hand.

"NO!" Fear showed clearly in Surtur's eyes. "Please, I'll give you anything."

Sif hesitated. "Anything."

"Yes, anything," repeated Surtur. "Power, money, anything you ask."

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch!" She drove her father's sword deep into Surtur's chest, piercing his heart.

Meanwhile, Loki managed to literally stumble into Sigyn's room.

"Loki!" Sigyn rushed to him and helped him over to her bed.

"Sorry," Loki said. "I was mostly dead for a few hours and haven't quite recovered. Give me a few minutes and we'll escape."

"I knew you'd come," Sigyn said. "I never lost hope."

"How sweet," Algrim sneered as he entered the room. "This scene would touch my heart if I had one. But now," he raised his sword. "To the death. This time I'll make sure you stay dead."

"No, to the pain!" Loki replied, still resting on the bed.

"I don't believe I'm familiar with that."

"It means first I will cut off your feet, then each hand and then your nose. Next will follow your eyes."

"Then my tongue and ears, I suppose," Algrim mocked.

"Tongue yes, ears no. You will keep you ears so that you will be able to hear every shriek of terror from every child that sets eyes upon your horrible visage. Every cry from every babe that sees you approach. Every gasp of horror from every man and woman you encounter. All will echo in your perfectly good eyes for the rest of your miserable existence. That is what 'To the pain' means."

"You are bluffing," Algrim said. Though he seemed more than a little nervous.

"I might very well be," Loki agreed. "I may just be all talk and unable to rise from this bed. Or, perhaps I was merely buying time to regain my full strength." Slowly, deliberately, Loki rose to his feet, raising his sword. Algrim looked on in horror. "Now, then," Loki said. "Drop. Your. Sword."

Algrim did as he was told.

"Now sit," Loki motioned to the chair before hearth.

Algrim quickly complied and Sigyn tied him tightly to the chair. At that moment, Sif came in looking battle-worn but victorious. "My father is avenged!" she declared.

"Excellent!" Loki returned as his knees suddenly buckled beneath him. The two ladies caught him before he hit the ground.

"You were bluffing!" Algrim yelled angrily. "Guards! Guards!"

"Your guards will not come." Thor had arrived, the large hammer at his side. "They are all taking a well deserved nap." He grinned broadly at the other three. "I have acquired some horses. Let us be off!"

"It's very strange," Sif said as they swiftly road away from the castle. "My entire life has been focused on avenging my father. Now I don't know what to do."

Loki smiled at her. "Have you considered piracy? You'd make a fine Dread Pirate Lady Fandral."

"Well," Sif said, looking over at Thor. "I might consider it if I had some company."

"I'd gladly follow you anywhere, my lady," Thor said with a bow.

They rode to freedom. By morning Svartalfheim and Algrim were far behind them they were finally safe. Loki and Sigyn reached for each other and kissed deeply. It was a kiss filled with hope for the future and the promised that they would never be parted again.


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"The end," concluded Coulson. "Now General Fury needs his rest. Please, leave."

"Well, aside from the difficulty of accepting Loki as a leading man, that was quite enjoyable," Natasha commented as they walked out of the room.

"It is curious, though," Thor commented.

"What?" asked Steve.

"Many of the names used are not found in your myths. The Warriors Three, Amora and her sister."

"Maybe Morgenstern had some copies of the myths that didn't make it to the present day," Tony commented.

Bruce nodded in agreement. "There's been a lot of lost knowledge over the centuries."

Thor nodded. "This is true."

"Or maybe the author was really from Asgard," quipped Clint.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Sigyn and Loki walked down the streets of New York City looking for all the world as if they belonged there. While Loki was no stranger to being the center of attention in New York City, he was trying to avoid that today. He and Sigyn were on holiday and the last thing he wanted was the Avengers accosting them.

Their destination was a used-bookstore that Loki liked to visit when he was in town and not trying to cause havoc and destruction. It had the most interesting books. Some by mortals who had stumbled upon information that was far beyond their ken. Others by people from other realms.

"Mr. Golmen!" the clerk, a kind-looking, elderly man said cheerfully as they walked in. "It's been quite a while."

"I've been abroad," Loki replied.

The clerk turned to Sigyn. "And this is?"

"Mrs. Golmen."

"Ah, how lovely to meet you. I am William Ainsworth." he said.

"A pleasure, Mr. Ainsworth."

"Mr. Golmen, I have several books for you in back that I think you might be interested in."

"I'll just look around," Sigyn told them.

"I won't be long," Loki said as he disappeared into the back after Ainsworth.

Sigyn wandered around the store. All of the books were very old. She was about to return to the front desk to wait for Loki when a book caught her eye.

"Morgenstern? I know that name." She took the book off the shelf and began reading a very familiar story. "That horrid, little man stole my book!"

"You wrote a book?"

Sigyn almost dropped the book when she heard Loki speak. He looked at it and a smirk appeared on his lips.

"You wrote _that_ book?"

"I...well," Sigyns shook her head. "It was a long time ago when I was young and foolish. My friends and I visited Midgard and ended up in Florin staying with Simon Morgenstern and his family. He was an aspiring author. Well, I was pining for you at the time and I was despondent because you never even paid me a glace."

The smirk widened.

"Of course, I didn't realize at the time that you were merely avoiding me because you feared that I would reject you and thus shatter your fragile ego."

The smirk disappeared. "I love you, too."

"At any rate, I wrote this silly story and was so embarrassed when I finished it, I locked it in a drawer and intended to burn it but I forgot and he found it and published it and now here it is!"

Loki laughed. "That explains a lot, really." He took the book from her and added it to the small stack of books in his hands.

"You're going to buy it?"

"How could I not?" Loki replied. "Come, once I pay for these, I'll take you anywhere on Midgard."

"How about Florin?"

"Morgenstern is long dead."

"I know, but maybe he has some descendants we can have fun with."

Loki gave her an elegant bow. "As you wish."

* * *

><p>Prompt fic! Unfortunately, I didn't quite meet the prompt as I followed the bookmovie a lot more closely than the original prompter had requested. But that's where I originally got the idea.

Well, this was quite fun. I managed to find a script of _The Princess Bride_, which was good because I hadn't seen the movie in a while and my copy of the book is in storage. I tried not to use too much dialog and paraphrased as much as possible. But there were a few lines I just had to use.

Gunnar Golmen was the alias Loki used on Earth in the Ultimate universe.


End file.
